Adjusting back to my life in Wisconsin…

Hello all!

As I write this, I sit on my front porch at my home in Madison!

I’ll start off by telling you about my last couple of weeks at the orphanage. The kids moved into their new dormitory on Sunday, June 3rd. There was a “move-in ceremony” which was very nice. All the kids carried beds, frames, sheets, and all their belongings to the new space and sang songs while doing it. The pastor blessed the dorm. The kids said a little something in honor of the new dorm, Leah, the teachers, the staff and me. It was a pleasant service and I felt so happy that I was able to be there to take part in it. I think the most exciting thing about the kids moving into the dorm was that I got to see them use their “old space” (formerly known as the boys dorm) as their new eating/studying hall. It was the coolest sight to see them each have a place to sit, to eat, and a better place with better lighting for studying. I was also fortunate enough to have met up with another Madison woman who was in Kenya at the same time as I was at the orphanage. It’s sort of a long story as to how we got to know of one another. I’ll spare you the details. I will say that the world is full of synchronicity! It is cool that the universe brought Devri and I together for the first time in Africa! We had a great couple of days together and I owe her a huge thank you! She brought the children educational things like maps, books, DVD’s, CDs. She brought them toys and candy too. They loved it and they loved her! Not just because she came bearing gifts, but because she’s so cute. They loved her blond hair and her fair skin. They kept saying she looked like a doll. It was sweet. The other really great thing about her coming to visit the orphanage is that she stayed the morning and afternoon on the second day and helped me move the whole library and rearrange everything. It looked awesome. I included before and after shots of the library. Devri, thanks so much for all of your kindness and help. It was great to meet you in Africa and I look forward to meeting you again in Madison!

I left Kenya on June 8th in the late evening. It was sad to say goodbye. I love those kids so much and it was sad to say goodbye to them. I chose to stay at the orphanage until my taxi picked me up to bring me to the airport. This was a good decision. When I came to Kenya, they greeted me within the first 48 hours of my arrival. I wanted my very last moments to be with them. I got to say goodbye to them all (some in the morning and some in the evening). Although I was sad, I knew and still know they will be OK. They are good kids and they have a good home. I trust that my presence at the orphanage will in the end help them just a little bit more than if I would have never went. As I was going to the airport, I had a sense of guilt about leaving them. They had been abandoned already (some more than once) and here I was leaving them now too. I’m not convinced that they really look at it like that, but I know I did. I wasn’t expecting to have that sort of feeling, but it was overwhelming at the time. As I write this final entry 10 days after leaving, there is a part of me that is sad but all of me is completely satisfied and happy that I had this experience. The time I spent there was long in one way but short in another. I am glad I got the chance to spend a half a year there and I’m glad that I spent it at one orphanage. Breadth and depth have their place in this world and sometimes one is needed more than the other. I appreciate having the chance to be able to be so deeply engrained with those children and in that culture. I could have chosen to leave the orphanage after a few months to live in a different orphanage, in a different city, with a different tribe. I’m glad I stayed where I did. As I was getting ready to leave and every day since my return, many people have voiced their concerns about how I might feel about leaving and about adjusting back to my culture, my home, my life as I knew it before I left. I’ve been so blessed to have my transition back to my life as it was last December be one of slowness! I was able to travel in Amsterdam for a week with MFE (my friend Erika). That was a great way to adjust to more of a “western” way (OK it’s western Europe, but still a good segue back to the US!) and get adjusted to being with friends again. I’ve spent almost half my time in Kenya alone and it was nice to be amongst one of my closest friends. Now that I’ve been back in the states for 4 days, I’m trying to adjust mostly by taking things moment by moment. I’ve been trying to keep patience with myself and with others and to just really pay attention to my feelings without judgment. Of course this is much simpler to say and write than it is to do. Staying in the moment has at least allowed me the freedom to know that I won’t always be upset, sad, impatient, worried or even happy. I know transitions are just as important as the experience itself. Transition is part of this journey and something I’ll embrace as much as my experiences in Kenya.

MFE and I had a great time in Amsterdam! Of course I included some pictures. We went to the zoo, did a ton of walking around the city, took a pizza canal/boat cruise. We went to the Van Gough Museum and to the Heineken brewery. We ate good food, drank wine and even watched a movie. It was a ton of fun! My last email to MFE was while I was still in Kenya. As I sent her my last blog to post from Africa, I told her how wonderful she was and how much I appreciated all the time she took over the past 6 months to not only post my blogs and pictures, but to make my blog look really good and enticing for people to actually want to visit and read it. Truthfully, if it wasn’t for MFE, I’m not sure the dormitory, the extra things we were able to give the kids (shoes, backpacks, medical supplies, a shaver to keep them neat for school), the water tank and all the other small things that your money helped to provide, would have happened. Of course I could have sent an email out to everyone with the same things that I wrote in the blog, but I really believe that because I was able to communicate to such a large group of people, it helped to raise awareness and to raise money. Thank you again MFE! And thanks for taking care of our itinerary for Amsterdam. I hope you had as great of a time as I did!

Well my faithful readers, this is the end of my road for the blog called “Renee’s Blog, My Thoughts During my Journey in Kenya Volunteering in an Orphanage.” I’m not sure I have many parting words of wisdom. Maybe as time goes on, I’ll think of some and be fortunate to have us cross paths so I can share it. Or maybe my words of wisdom have been shared throughout the journey and the only thing left to say is THANK YOU. Someone asked me if I thought it was strange to be back. This person insinuated that although I’ve changed so much the rest of the world really didn’t. It was assumed that one of the lessons learned during an experience like this is that the person that goes away changes and the rest of the world just stays the same. I’m not convinced that I agree with this assumption (if it is really even a universal assumption). And I’m not all that sure that I’ve come across this profound change in me. I think this experience enriched something that I already knew I had inside of me. It brought me a greater truth about the person I knew I already was and it allowed me to actually experience it on a deeper level and in a different way. Maybe it’s too early to really tell and if you were to ask me in 6 months from now or even a year or years from now, I’d say something very different. I know that for today, I’m grateful for having the experience of this journey and I’m happy to be home!

Love to all! Namaste.